Today I had a friend put up a post and to be honest I see lots like it throughout the Christmas season. Its just another opportunity to make people feel shitty for their life choices. It’s a copy and paste one and this was just the first one I’ve seen so far. So I’m not picking on her, she’s lovely but I just wanted to tell the other side to the story and why I think it’s ok to spoil your kids at Christmas.
“Time of year where parents love to boast how many presents there children have got!! Remember there are people that can’t financially be that generous and it’s not always about what you can buy them it’s about the love and attention you give them which is much more important !!”
And to a point I do agree, it’s not nice your kid going in saying Santa got them a games console or new bike and the kid next to them got a gift not as extravagant. Having said that I also know what it’s like to get the things you’ve asked for for Christmas. I wasn’t from a rich family I was very fortunate in my upbringing but my mum and dad worked tirelessly for that. I remember some nights my mum staying up until 4 am making curtains to be fitted the next day. At Christmas I was spoilt, I’m an only child and there is no denying how lucky I was every Christmas (and birthday). I’d shake with excitement the minute I’d pull the wrapping paper back on gifts, I know how it feels to get that number one thing on your Christmas list and I’m still extremely lucky to be totally spoilt now at 29!
And from a different perspective the one where I’m a mum trying to Christmas shop for 3 kids. I also know I go without, I save, I put money aside and start shopping early just so I can get my kids the things they love. I have 365 days a year I make the most of time with my kids and try and make it special, so if I have one day I can spoil them, I will and that doesn’t make me bad. And that doesn’t mean I don’t teach them the values and real meaning of Christmas.
I do however have rules I set around it and I think that’s what keeps my kids grounded, grateful and polite and me still with enough to pay the bills and put food on the table.
🎄 Big gifts aren’t from Santa. Just in case they say “Santa Got Me..” As in the Facebook post above not all parents can be an expensive Santa and I hate the thought of upsetting another child not as fortunate. This year we got Monster1 a games console, it’s from Mummy & Daddy not Santa, he has a whole sack of fun gifts and toys from Santa (many were still on his list)
🎄 I’m guilty I share pics of the presents wrapped under the tree on Christmas Eve. I need some appreciation, I spent fucking hours wrapping and someone’s gotta see it before it gets demolished in the morning. It’s not a case of “look at her being flash” and more “I wonder how much alcohol she drunk to get her through all the arguments with cellotape” (I had 2 jack Daniels wrestling a giant bloody iggle-piggle giant teddy last night!)
🎄 To the people who can’t financially afford it. I’m sorry. I hope that changes one day soon and your Christmas is still just as amazing, filled with family, love and joy.
🎄 I’m not being smug, my monthly income vs bills is tight and at some point in any week I may cry about money and the stress of it all despite my best efforts. But when it comes to Christmas, I scrimp, save and hustle wherever I can.
▫️For example to get the games console I got a deal with 3 games free, I brought the other games on a weekend offer, saved on the extra controller, I sold one of the games I got free (no way I’d let my 8 year old play it no matter how many times he says “my friends play it” it’s an 18 and ain’t happening!) and used Tesco clubcard points that doubled up and saved me an extra £37! ▫️I also made 6 seperate purchases on the Argos 3 for 2 weekend, I grouped together all my sales (eg 3 items at £45 then 3 items at £30) so as to always be getting the highest value possible free in each transaction. ▫️I also shopped using a cash back card that gives me money off my electric (in just one weekend I got back £20.64).
Yes it is all quite long winded but that’s because I want to spoil the kids without making myself bankrupt!
🎄 As for the age old “Christmas is about time together and family” or “Christmas is spending time with your children” yes it is I can’t wait To enjoy each and everyone of my loved ones smiles on Christmas Day, I’m like a big kid. I can’t wait to sit down and eat a beautiful Christmas dinner (that I’m grateful for I know there are others not as lucky) and I can’t wait to play silly games (I’m blessed for my family, the company and laughter I know there are others not as lucky) I can’t wait for the rubbish Christmas re-runs (I moan about the crap TV, but I have electric and a TV I know there are others not as lucky) but this is not the only day we should spend time with those we love, be grateful for our blessings and give children our time …. That should be everyday!
So my point is everyone is different and whilst yes I am lucky that I can do all the above to spoil my kids, I shouldn’t feel bad when I share a photo about my life’s blessings. Whatever they are. I try to show gratitude and joy everyday, maybe others see this as smug but I just see it as a way of sharing the joy and blessings of my life, with people who I think would enjoy seeing it (if they don’t they can delete me – the joys of freedom of choice. If they think I’m being smug or boasting- they don’t know me very well and would be better off removing themselves from my friends list anyway)
This is our Christmas last year I’m not being smug to you all I just wanted you to see the joy in every picture and understand a different perspective.